Chronicles of the Akatsuki
by xXGothicVampiressXx
Summary: Rated M for intense swearing. Well technicaly it should be rated MA but there is no MA so you have been warned. TEMPORARILY DISCONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1

Ok for the sake of my story Sasori isn't dead and never will be and he's 17 and he's going to turn human somehow and stay human for like ever but yeah so read the story please! Also the unknown member is named Mizu in this story and for those who don't know Mizu means water.

Chapter 1 The New Members

It was Friday and all the Akatsuki members, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, and Mizu were all sitting in the living room of the hide out. "So why the hell did leader call us here again?" Mizu asked while she filed her nails. "If I new I wouldn't be here now would I?" Kisame answered her. "Yeah, yeah, save it for someone who cares fishboy." Mizu told him. "What did you just call me bitch?!" Kisame yelled at her. "Fishboy."Mizu said tuanting him. "Skank!"Kisame replied angrily. "What the fuck did you call me?!"Mizu yelled "Hey don't start fighting okay!? I don't want to clean up the blood!" Tobi said to them right when the Leader walked in. "Okay I'll ask about what Tobi just said later right now I need to talk you about something important." Leader told them. "We're getting a bar?" Itachi guessed. "No." Leader answered. "Damn! I wanted a bar." Itachi said fiercely.

"We have two new members. Girls you can come in now!" Leader look over his shoulder towards the door as two girls walked in. "FYI we could have come in when ever we wanted."The girl with black hair replied. The girls were wearing akatsuki cloaks that weren't buttoned up, black tube tops, black shorts, and black sandals and one had an iPod and was listening to something on it.

"Guys...and Mizu this is-" Leader started to say but was cut off by the girl without an iPod. "I'm Tora and that's Ookami, she's a music freak and me just stay away from me unless you want a shoe in your face." Tora told them. "Ok...um...thank you Tora... you show them around!" Leader said pointing to Mizu. "Whatever." Mizu answered as she pushed off the wall she was leaning against.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok so where's our room blue hair?" Tora asked Mizu. "Okay first of all stop calling me that my name is Mizu. Second since we're the only girls we share and it's just down that hall." Mizu said pointing to a hallway. "Do the guys no where are room is?" Tora asked curiously. "Nope they're to stupid to notice it!" Mizu told her happily. "Ha, ha dumb shits." replied Tora. "All the pain I thought I knew, All the thoughts lead back to you, Back to what was never said, Back and forth inside my head, I can't handle this confusion, I'm not able come and take me away." Ookami started to sing. Tora walked over and took out one of her earphones and yelled, "Stop your damn singing!" "Ow! You bitch that hurt my ear!" Ookami yelled. "Whoop- di- fuckin'-do."she replied fiercly. "Hey, you where singing 'Take Me Away' by Avril Lavigne, right?" Mizu asked Ookami. "Yeah how'd you know?" Ookami answered. "Ookami she's Avril Lavinge! Everyone knows her. But of coarse I prefer Linkin Park, Simple Plan, and Story of the Year." "I love Avril Lavigne. And you scare me" Mizu told her. "Uh huh that's nice. Now I'm tired so show me where are room is so I can get some fucking sleep." Tora cut in. "Alright, alright follow me." Mizu told them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night:

"Who's fucking room is that?"Tora said pointing lazily to the east wall by Mizu's bed. "Kisame. Don't worry you'll get used to the noise, eventually, probaly, ah who am I effing kidding! You'll never get used to it!"Mizu replied sitting up. "We'll see."Tora said raising her bow. An arrow whizzed just past the bridge of Mizu's nose. "What the hell Tora?!"Mizu yelled falling back. Tora was still lying down she lowered her bow. "Couldn't that hurt him?"she continued almost worried. The arrow stuck cleanly out of the wall. "It might, but it'll as sure as hell freak him out."Tora replied smoothly. They waited about two seconds and a string of curses came from Itachi and Kisame's room. "If anyone asks it wasn't me."said Tora

--------------------------------------------------- Retard Avenue ---------------------------------------------------------------

Leader: Heh heh fishboy nice one Mizu.

Kisame: The next person who calls me fishboy dies!

Deidara: -steals Kisame's cellphone and sets his ring tone to Jaws then sneaks it back and calls his cell-

Kisame: -ringtone Jaws starts play- OKAY WHO CHANGED MY RINGTONE TO JAWS!!!

Deidara: Uh...-puts cell away- Tobi did it!

Kisame: TOBI I'M GONNA KILL YOU

Tobi: Ahhhhh -runs away-

Me: Well read and reveiw peoplez.

Leader: Cause if you don't I'll send Akatsuki after you.


	2. Chap2: Prank Paradise

**Chapter Two:Prank Paradise**

_Only reason I'm not being fucking lazy and not writing this chapter is cause I told my friends I'd update today.That reminds me Robert and Missy: Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Tobi are the gay dudes. And Mizu might be Mizu or Kannin._

"Why does everyone here have to be so damn annoying?!"Tora shouted in the cramped room.

"Shut the hell up already."Kannin said.

_"I love you you love me!"_a voice shouted from up stairs.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"Okami yelled. Tora shot an arrow into the ceiling. The singing stopped.

"Thank god."Tora said. The singing started again.

"What the fuck?!"Okami yelled.

"That's enough."Kannin said forming a hand sign. "Lightning strike jutsu!"

Zetsu stopped singing and started screaming. He said something along the lines of, "Holy shit! It burns!" The girls stood up.

"What the hell did you do?"asked Okami.

"I just,"Kannin was interupted mid-sentance by Zetsu who was standing in the doorway, naked.

"Holy shit! Aa washibito no kusoimaimashii me!"Tora yelled.

"What?"asked Kannin.

"She said 'Oh god, my fucking eyes!' "Okami said grabbing a pistol off of her bed. She blindly aimed at Zetsu's feet and fired. Zetsu screamed.

Hidan came up the hall yelling, "What the fuck happened?!"Kakuzu followed Hidan. Itachi and Kisame came out of their room. "What the hell who's screaming?!"Kisame asked. Everyone stopped when they saw Zetsu.

"Son of a bitch! Get some pants on!"Itachi yelled. "Dude, I'm gay and that's still wrong."said Kakuzu.

The next Morning:

"This is going to be quite an interesting day."said Okami mischieviously.

"What do you mean?"asked Kannin.

"You'll see."said Tora. "Oh god what'd you do!"she said running to a mirror.

"Wait I look, good."Kannin said happily.

"Yeah, figured you needed a make over."Okami said. Tora turned to face her sister.

"Isn't that the only _good_ thing we did?"she asked.

"What!?"Kannin yelled.

"Don't worry it was just a little prank."Okami said.

_"What the fuck is wrong with my hair?!"_Hidan yelled from his room. He ran up the hallway. "Who the hell dyed my hair pink?!" The girls giggled.

Tora raised her hand, "Guilty."she said laughing.

"You, you bastard!"Hidan yelled.

"Can't come in here."said Okami wagging her finger.

"Watch me."he said. The moment he entered the room he was electrecuted and thrown against a wall.

"Holy shit! What did you do?"Kannin yelled.

"Tora and I spent the night wiring the room."Okami said.

"No you didn't! You just sat there and told me where to put the wires!"Tora yelled.

"Um, I find no difference?"Okami said. She glared at her twin.

"What the fuck is it this time?!"Kisame yelled walking out of his room with Itachi. Itachi stepped on hidan.

"What the? Holy shit is Hidan dead?!"Itachi yelled.

"No, just stunned. Well, at least I don't think he is. The laser wasn't set on lethal."said Okami. Tora put her hand to his neck.

"He still has a pulse, and he's breathing."she said pulling back her hand.

"You idiot Itachi. Hidan's imortal remember?"said Kisame dragging Hidan's limp body to Kakuzu's door.

"What happened who was screaming?"asked Kakuzu sleepily. He looked down at Hidan.

"Shouldn't we wake him up?"asked Kannin.

"Oh, I'll get my gun!"said Okami cheerfully.

"No! We already had to drive Zetsu to the hospital. And that's because you fucking shot the poor guy!"yelled Kakuzu.

"You know you loved him getting shot."said Okami. Okami left.

"I think she actually might do it."said Itachi. Okami came back with a gun.

"No! Okami you fuckin' retard!"

"Fine,"she said sighing. The gun went off. Okami fell over backwards.

"You bitch! Why'd you shoot him!?"Kakuzu screamed.

"Kakuzu, she shot Tora not Hidan, un."

"What?!"

"OH MY GOD!! Get in the car we're taking both of them to the hospital!!"

Three hours later

Tora woke to Deidara constantly poking her face. She flipped him off and asked, "What happened damn it?!"

"Well,"he took a deep breath,"Okami accidentaly shot you and Hidan got electricuted and we back over Kisame driving you guys to the hospital sooo now we're in the car going back to the hideout, un."

"How the hell can you talk that much without stopping?"she said rubbing her temples."So, can _someone else_ tell me what da fuck happened?"

"Here let me explain, when you told Okami to not shoot at Hidan her gun fired and she shot you. Then we took you and Hidan to the hospital. Okami tried to drive us to the hospital but she backed over Kisame, and we had to get him to the hospital. And right now we're just coming back from the hospital." She looked around.

"How many cars did we have to take?"

"Well, you, me, Sasori, Kannin, and Pein are in this car, un."

"Deidara, we're sitting in the back of a god damned pickup truck!" Sasori fell over.

"Yeah, and Kannin's driving suckishly."

"I heard that!"

"God damn it! Where's my sister?! I'll fuckin' kill her!"

"She left a bit after us with Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Tobi."

"Whadda 'bout Zetsu?"

"He's still unconscious, un."

Weird Street

Vicky:Reviews wanted.

Tora:Shut it Vicky.

Vicky:YOU!!!

Okami:Don't make me get a gun!

Deidara: NO, UN!

Sasori:Shut up, all of you.

Kannin:You people really piss me off.

Hidan:FUCK YOU!!

Kannin:You wish


End file.
